


Lingering Touch

by BrunetteBookworm



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Deleted Scene, Freeform, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, POV First Person, Recovery, Season/Series 03, and it's aftermarth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:52:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrunetteBookworm/pseuds/BrunetteBookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’ve dealt with murderers, psychopaths, terrorists, serial killers. <br/>None of them can turn my stomach like Charles Augustus Magnussen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lingering Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eloquentmydear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloquentmydear/gifts).



> This story deals with sexual assault from a survivor's perspective. It is not explicit in content, but it may be distressing to some readers. If you think it might be triggering for you to read, please do not proceed. 
> 
> If it is triggering for you, please consider calling 800 656 4673 [US] or 0808 802 9999 [UK] or 1800 737 732 [Aus].

_Apologies for the dampness of my touch. You’ll get used to it._  
_You’ll get used to it._  
_You’ll get used to it…_

Bolt upright. Sharp intake of breath. Open eyes. Hospital room.  
  
John is here. I can hear him tell me to slow my breathing down. Am I hyperventilating? Oh.  
I must be.  
That explains the tingling in my fingers….  
  
_He has taken my right hand in his and is tracing my finger tips._  
He places a kiss to the back of my hand.  
_Usually a sign of intimacy…_  
_It is a **threat**._

Gasp in air.  
John is asking me if I’m ok. I am not, but he can’t know. He must not know.  
There are plans still to be set in place.

 _You don’t tell John._  
_Look at me and tell me you’re not gonna tell him_ .

Mary, Mary – quite contrary.  
John is saying she hasn’t been here yet. Must’ve said her name aloud.  He’s still looking worried. I have to get out of here, but he won’t help me. A doctor and a solider.

I wish lying was not so easy.

//

_Apologies for the dampness of my touch. You’ll get used to it.  
You’ll get used to it…_

Bolt upright. Sharp intake of breath. Open eyes. Different hospital room.  
  
_You may need to restart my heart_.

Was he here again? It feels like he was here again.  
My right hand is damp. I am tachycardic.  
Where is John? I try to scream, but I can’t. The morphine pulls me under.

//

_Apologies for the dampness of my touch. You’ll get used to it…_

Bolt upright. Sharp intake of breath. Open eyes. My childhood bedroom.

He wasn’t here. He can’t have been here. And yet…and yet it felt like he was.  
Today is the day it all ends.

//

_Apologies for the dampness of my touch…_

Bolt upright. Sharp intake of breath...there is someone lying next to me!

  
I must open my eyes. I have to open my eyes.  
The bed shifts, the light is turned on. Someone is speaking.  
John. John.  
He kneels on the floor, next to the bed, careful not to touch me. Eyes on me – wide.  
Is he afraid of me? He looks sad.  My cheeks are damp – I’m crying.  
  
“Sherlock. He can’t hurt you. He can never touch you again. **Ever**.”

I let John hold me.  
He kisses me on the forehead.  
John is real. John is here. John is safe. John is love.


End file.
